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Wedding gifts

The venue is booked, the flowers have been chosen and the gown is being made. Now comes the really fun part – time to organise your wedding gift list.

In keeping with tradition, and as a sign of their love and support, friends and family will want to buy you a wonderful wedding gift. This is where a gift register can be useful. Organising a gift register typically involves choosing one or more stores and then, with the assistance of a wedding-gift consultant, compiling a list of your favourite items. You can let guests know where the gift registers are located by including a small card stating the store’s details when you send out the invitations. Alternatively, a delegated family member – usually the mother of the bride – can let the guests know by phone or email. They are then free to select presents to suit their budget and tastes. A wedding register is the stress-free and practical way of receiving what you want and need without being impolite. At the same time, your guests are assured they are giving you something you’ll cherish throughout your married life.

spoilt for choice: making your selection

Traditionally, gift lists include items such as china, silver and crystal, plus linen, cookware, and appliances. While you don’t have to be a slave to tradition, you’ll probably be grateful for choosing gifts that stand the test of time. Consider what you need for everyday and formal versions of dinnerware and serving items. Even if you’re not excited about the idea of a fancy range of champagne flutes or salad bowls, they’re bound to come in handy for special moments you celebrate in the future. Try not to go for seasonal trends or faddish colours.

The gifts you choose will depend on the stage you’re at in your life. A young couple setting up home together for the first time, for example, will need all the basics. However, Christine Rasmussen of specialty kitchen store Milly’s in Auckland, says most couples that register with them already share the same address. If you both already own most household items, you might like to consider more luxurious options you can’t afford, such as new outdoor furniture, a barbecue or state-of-the-art cooking equipment. You could suggest that guests pitch in together to buy you these special gifts. An alternative is to update and upgrade existing household items to create the latest and greatest collection. Also, think about adding gifts to your list that reflect your personality and lifestyle, such as books, music, electronics, camping gear, a computer or even cooking classes.

outside the square: gift register options

Gift registers are popping up in some unique places, and with boutique stores now offering a gift list service alongside the larger department stores, couples can register in more than one place. A register in two or three different types of store offers you and your guests more gift choices.

A homeware store well known for its gift register service, now offers an online register that allows net shopping for couples and guests. As soon as a guest purchases a gift, the register is updated immediately.

Online gift lists are increasing in popularity, as they offer advantages to both you and your guests. First, you make your selection from an online catalogue in the comfort of your own home.

The honeymoon register is another great option if you have already set up home, are getting married for the second time, or dream of escaping to a romantic destination that is out of your financial reach. You can register for a honeymoon at a travel agency, such as one of the 22 nationwide Air New Zealand Travel Centres.

If you’d rather your family and friends invest in something you can enjoy over the years, a wine register is another idea. Put together a list of your favourite drops (from inexpensive bottles to vintage Champagne) and give it to your guests. You’ll end up with a wonderful cellar to enjoy and share at occasions in the future.

You might have everything for your home, but what about your garden? Plants, trees, water features and gardening tools make great wedding gifts. Devise your own wish list, distribute it to your guests and take pleasure in creating a garden that serves as a reminder of your friends, family and special day.

Whatever type of list you make, whether it’s at a shop, online or one of your own, keep in mind that older or more traditionally minded guests may prefer to buy something for your home. Include a few of these items on your list. Perhaps there is a beautiful bed linen or glassware set you’ve had your eye on and wouldn’t normally treat yourself to.

So, take a break from the wedding planning and start thinking presents! Besides the sheer fun of it, compiling a gift list is your chance to get exactly what you want and need to start your new life together.

getting organised

Start thinking about your gift register soon after you get engaged. Most places recommend registering four to six months before the wedding. Having it set up early means people wanting to buy you gifts for a pre-wedding celebration can do so.
Talk with your partner about your likes and dislikes, what you need, and what would be fun for the house or the future. Take time to search for items you’ll both enjoy.
Find out as much as you can about the gift list service the shop provides. Is the process hassle-free for buyers? How many outlets, and in which cities, are available for shoppers? Can you order by phone, fax, online and in person? Will the list be updated regularly to ensure no guests buy the same items? What is the delivery policy? And are there any incentives, such as discounts or vouchers, when you register at their store?
Include items in a wide price range so guests can choose gifts within their budget. You may also wish to put some more expensive items on your list so that family and friends have the option of pooling their resources to buy you something really special. Your list should include more gifts than the number of guests. This provides greater choice and ensures a range of items for the last person to choose from.
Be gracious. Letters of thanks should be prompt, personal and thoughtful. Mention the gift and giver by name. If you receive cash gifts, it’s polite to indicate how you plan to use the money. Systematically keep track of gifts you receive. On receiving a gift, write down what it is and who gave it to you. And, remember, if someone bought you something non-returnable that you can’t use, it’s the thought that counts!